According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 76% of women murdered by an intimate partner were stalked first, while 85% of women who survived murder attempts were stalked.

I, unfortunately, am a part of that statistic.

The “man” everyone thought I would marry ended up being my biggest downfall in life. I am going to call him Ryan for my safety.

When Ryan and I were together, he had my passwords to my Bebo, email, AOL and MySpace. He had to sit next to me in every single class we had in high school despite the teachers trying to separate us.

When I wasn’t in his class he would wait for me at the door or expect me to be at his class before the bell rang.

He was one of those charmers everyone loved, but no one knew the damage he was causing me.

I would wake up to texts and emails asking me where I was and who I was with. At first, I thought it was sweet. Having a guy care like that seemed like it was love.

But then he would turn around and use my email to sext other women and get so mad at me if I questioned it that he would grab my ponytail and repeatedly bash my head into the wall of his bedroom.

The first time that happened I was in shock and just laid on the floor holding my head while tears streamed down my face.

I had no idea what to do or who I could turn to.

He had everyone wrapped around his fingers, including my mom and grandfather.

It slowly escalated over three years. Ryan sexually assaulted me countless times and continued to physically assault me as well.

I remember attending a Friday night football game with my JROTC friends and one of the guys in the group went to hug me goodbye. Ryan came out of nowhere and beat him up for touching me.

I was baffled. I didn’t even know Ryan was at the game.

He then grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bleachers to yell at me. He said if I would just keep my hands to myself then he would not have to beat them up.

Everything Ryan did to me was a form of abuse and stalking. I unfortunately did not learn that it was not my fault till years after and I am still healing from the trauma.

What people don’t understand is that your partner can stalk you; it doesn’t have to be a stranger.

Unfortunately, it has now become a trend like Facebook stalking friends or being romanticized in chic-flick films and books.

There is nothing romantic about stalking or controlling actions. Even the most innocent circumstances could lead to someone being killed.

If you or someone you know is being stalked or harassed, please report it.

Even if you are unsure reach out to a friend or professor and ask for guidance. It could save a life.

Too many people end up being murdered because they believe that it is just an innocent crush and not a big deal.

According to Texas state law, you can seek a protective order against a stalker.

Even if you have no current or former dating, roommate or family relationship with them.

See Texas Code of Criminal Procedure article 7B for more information.

One way to apply for a stalking protective order is by contacting your local county or district attorney.

Many legal aid offices can guide you in obtaining a protective order. You can also hire a private attorney.

You have the right to represent yourself in a protective order application.

But for many reasons, it is best to work closely with a crime victims services program, family violence professional or lawyer.

You can also ask for a protective order against someone you accuse of stalking during court proceedings related to the alleged stalking.

See Texas Code of Criminal Procedure article 7B.051. Otherwise, the process for seeking a stalking protective order is similar to the process of seeking any other type of protective order.

Dallas College Police at North Lake can help you if you feel like you are being stalked on campus.

Go to Room C204 and talk to campus police about filing an order or call 972-273-3302.

The Counseling Center (A311) and the Health Center (C200) are safe places. If you feel like you are in danger you can seek refuge and assistance.

For more information on Stalking awareness month logon to https://ncadv.org.